Expecting,
and when expectations don't happen
I've always known that things don't go as planned all the time, but it is this time that life seems to be brandishing that fact under my nose. While pregnant, I had pictures in my head of how I'm going to deliver and live life with a new baby: being wheeled into the delivery room, holding my baby right after she's born, breastfeeding successfully, using cloth diapers and going back to my hobbies right away.
Except for the first trimester, my pregnancy was going smoothly that I thought childbirth will be no problem at all. Everyone including my OB commented on how my belly looked small, which I felt so good about because that meant I won't have a hard time pushing the baby out when the time comes.
Thirty-nine weeks and still no contractions. Then one February morning, I woke up to the feeling of water gushing out, which concerned my OB. On the way to the hospital, I maintained a positive attitude and kept hoping that the contractions would come. The nearer we got to the hospital, the vision of myself in labor and having a normal delivery a few hours later started to slowly fade. Eventually, I had to undergo Cesarean. Fifteen hours after we left the house, my daughter was born. From then on, I always find myself forced to dump a million other things I had planned out. ( I could go on talking about this but that would make an agonizingly long post.)
So that was only the beginning.
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