Every day, embrace.

a bad start to breastfeeding

Whenever I look back on the day I had to breastfeed my daughter for the very first time, I can't help but feel resentful towards those people in the hospital. It was two days after I was admitted, still in pain but definitely starting to get better. My husband was in the room with me when I was called. Before I went inside the nursing room, I donned the smock for moms like I was told to. The room had armchairs and footstools and posters about breastfeeding. I have always believed breastfeeding to come so naturally, but while I sat there holding my daughter the first time, I was clueless. She seemed more sleepy than hungry. I offered a breast but the best she could do in that lethargic state was gape her mouth and suck very very lightly. It got frustrating after a while and no one was really there to help. A few moments later, a hospital staff came in. Maybe I was pressing the baby too close against me or maybe it was her position, because my breast would cover her nostrils. So this lady pushed back the breast tissue with her finger to allow the baby to breathe and she told me to do the same. Much later, I learned that that's not what you're supposed to do if the baby is struggling to get air. Moments later, still not successful, the baby looking as though she would rather sleep, I just held her there until someone came in and took the baby. On my way back to the room, I passed by the nurses' station where another lady in white told me 'You have to try hard because we breastfeed exclusively here!', in a way that seemed to threaten me. They always have this authoritarian air about them, sometimes condescending, but that's not what upsets me the most right now. I just lament the fact that not one person I encountered there seemed to be knowledgeable enough about lactation. Maybe a lot of them knew theories; I know they're required to attend seminars, but it's more the attitude. Or maybe I was wrong to expect them to be of help. So my breastfeeding experience was off to a rough start. I had so many issues but that would be too long to talk about. Nevertheless, I'm now able to breastfeed exclusively although I must say it's still an everyday challenge.